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Parting Thoughts From A Tender Volunteer

As I wrap up my last few weeks in London, I have been trying to reflect on the multitude of experiences I’ve been lucky enough to have. Most have been good (sunny London is a dream come true), some not so good (the tube at rush hour), but my experience at Tender has been truly life-changing.

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Not A Women's Issue

Why Domestic Violence isn’t a “Women’s Issue
In Britain, as in America, election season is beginning to get underway. We’ll hear candidates pontificate about everything from taxes to Ukraine to healthcare and all of the issues in between. Many will also reaffirm their commitments to “women’s” issues like domestic violence and sexual assault awareness. While it’s always good to hear politicians speak up about these underrepresented yet very pressing issues, it’s time to stop calling them “women’s issues”.

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Justice and International Women's Day 2015

*trigger warning* Last night, I watched the BBC documentary India’s Daughter, which is the chilling tale of Jyoti Singh, a young medical student who was punished for having the gall to be outside her home at 8:30 by being gang-raped and murdered. It’s shocking and terrible, but the worst part is that violence against women is so, so common.

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Thoughts On The Signing Of Ched Evans

Our Communications and Training Coordinator, Rebecca, was so upset to learn that Oldham Athletic Football Club seems to be moving forward with signing Ched Evans, she put pen to paper. We thought we would give it a share.

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Thoughts From A Camden Volunteer

A blog entry excerpt from one of Tender's Camden Volunteers, a group of young people working in the office and receiving training to deliver Tender workshops to their peers.

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Universities, Responsibility, and Lad Culture

A response to the NUS survey on 'Lad Culture' by Tender's Communications and Training Coordinator Rebecca.

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Festival Fun...and Safe?

I am a massive fan of live music. I go to gigs, acoustic sessions, open mics and I am an avid festival goer. This year I have been lucky enough to attend three large festivals in the UK.

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Tender's Director Speaks Out About Digital Abuse and #StandUpWorldCup

A rather odd thing happened as I sat down to write the final draft of my response to the negative comments on the YouTube page of our #StandUpWorldCup campaign, designed to raise awareness of domestic violence during football tournaments. I realised that a very large spider was sitting on the wall by the computer regarding me as I started to type. In general I am not bothered by spiders, happy for them to go about their business, apart from the really big ones that actually make a noise as they walk across your living room floor. This was the big kind. I went to find a glass, carefully covered the creature and, with my handwritten draft of this comment piece, captured him deftly and returned him to the great outdoors. I hope we won’t cross paths again and we both came off unscathed by our mutual disregard for one another.

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Not That Farfetched

Last week Tender released a video to support our #StandUpWorldCup campaign and if you haven’t seen it you should. It paints a chilling picture, a woman who is relying on the outcome of a football match to determine whether or not she is safe in her own home. For some the idea that the loss of a sporting event could put someone in danger is ridiculous but it’s not that farfetched.
Screening for Domestic Violence: A First Step Not A Finish Line

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Screening for Domestic Violence: A First Step Not A Finish Line

Excerpt from ‘The Woman who Walked into Doors’ by Roddy Doyle:
Sometimes I'd think that I could escape if I could get behind the right curtain, if I was asked the right questions. Ask me.

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Tender's Director Responds to Clare's Law

“Clare’s Law is a welcome response to the issue of Domestic Violence but is only likely to be helpful to a small amount of women; many perpetrators do not have criminal convictions and therefore women may feel safe without justification; a perpetrator will be looking for signs of a woman trying to leave and her contacting the police may put her in significant danger (the majority of women who are murdered were in the process of or had just left the relationship); many women will not recognize their experiences as “domestic abuse” and therefore not consider using this support."

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A Participant Reflects on Tender's Training

This past Spring (13th June, 2013), I attended a six-hour Tender training: “Awareness and Good Practice when working with women experiencing violence and abuse in relationships.” Prior to attending the Tender training, I was an active participant in sexual health / healthy relationship workshops and facilitations, but still felt I lacked a necessary depth of understanding of how to professionally address domestic abuse / violence.
When Everybody is Listening...

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When Everybody is Listening...

This past month, Tender got wind of an interview that was conducted with two comedians and one comedy critic following the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The three women were asked about their views on feminism and being a female in the industry, but the conversation quickly spiraled into what many have called an offensive and insensitive rant promoting the sexualisation and objectification of women. The three women went on to blame young women who may change their mind ‘too late’ and joke that you have to ‘have the right look’ to be a victim of rape.

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Final Visits Completed - National Partnership.

This stage of my journey saw me visit Essex change,- part of 'Relate' in Chelmsford. This was an after school session with a very active and engaged group of students. The young people were responsive and connected with the work right up until 6pm, - a real testament to the team.

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My Best Friend: 3 down 7 to go!

Last Sunday Sophie ran the Trent Park Triffic Trail 10k. It was a lovely run on a cool morning through the woods and heathland of Trent Park.

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An Opportunity Missed - New Clause 20

On June 11th, the House of Commons debated and voted on amendments to the Children and Families Bill. One of these amendments was New Clause 20, which would make it a statutory requirement for schools to educate children about sex and relationships. It was an opportunity for the government to increase their efforts against issues such as domestic violence and the so-called “rape culture” which some say is established amongst young people.

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My Best Friend

I have been the Director of Tender since 2009 and before that I was the education manager. Just to prove I commit to things for the long term, I would like to tell you about my best friend of 36 years.

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Words Words Words

The power of words. They can motivate us. They can change us. They can degrade us. They can wound us. There are some words we will never forget.

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Maryam Hassan - Standing Up

Our latest 'Standing Up' blog comes from Maryam who has been spending her midterm break working to help out Tender.

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3 Ways He Held Her At Gunpoint

Tender youth ambassador and regular blogger Erica McKoy writes her response to Leslie Morgan Steiner's Ted Talk 'Why domestic violence victims don't leave'. You can watch the Ted Talk by clicking the image at the end of the post.
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