Kate Lexen, Director of Services, explains why primary school children need a safe space to explore kindness, empathy and personal boundaries.
One morning a few weeks back, I overheard my seven-year-old daughter ask her four-year-old sister, ‘Do you mind if I give you a hug?’. When I commented on it (having worked for Tender for 11 years I couldn’t help myself!) she simply replied, ‘Well, it’s really important to be respectful and ask for permission’. It turns out she’d spent the previous day at school learning about respectful behaviour in a Religious Education class and was testing out how to put this into practice in a real-life scenario.
This simple conversation has played out in my mind several times since, not because it was particularly remarkable (although sibling kindness at that age is never to be underestimated!), but because it wasn’t. And it shouldn’t be. It was an example of how key concepts such as respect and consent can and should be brought into the everyday; taught gently and age-appropriately and then practiced until they become commonplace.
This is the foundation of Tender’s new Key Stage One primary school programme for children aged 6-8. Our skilled facilitators take the children on an interactive imagination journey to Friendship Island, where they meet characters and help them out with friendship problems, learning and practicing key concepts such as personal boundaries, conflict resolution and emotional regulation. It is where Tender’s drama-based methodology really has an impact. It is not about simply teaching children terminology but giving them a safe space to practice what these concepts feel like, language to use in their real lives and the skills to apply their learning in everyday scenarios. At an age where they are constantly learning, developing and testing things out, our programme gives children the tools to help understand what they’re feeling, how to express that in a clear and considered way and how to ask for help if they feel worried or scared. Ultimately, we are teaching children to look after themselves and to be kind.
When talking about Tender’s primary school work – which we’ve been delivering to students aged 9-11 for over a decade – I’m sometimes met by surprise that it’s appropriate or necessary to talk to children about relationships this early on. But the reality is we all have relationships from the moment we start interacting with the world: family; friends; neighbours. If we can give our children the tools to understand and start practicing healthy behaviours in these early foundational relationships as soon as they start school, by the time they are in secondary school and starting to explore other types of relationships they will have had a chance to practice healthy interactions so many times that they are second nature. Concepts such as consent, pressure, boundaries and support won’t be completely new topics they need to learn about, they will be an important part of their everyday language.
Instead of undoing harmful behaviours at a point when they are entrenched, we have the power to equip our children with positive behaviours from the beginning.
Right now, the world feels a scary, uncertain place for many, and tackling the ever-growing pressures and negative influences on young people can feel like a daunting mountain to climb. But equipping our children with the skills to be kind, respectful, empathetic members of the community, and doing it as early as possible, is a tangible step we can take. We are supporting the next generation to bring about real change. And that feels hopeful.
Kate Lexen is available for interview. For media requests please contact Kate Vine, Communications Manager / Isadora Nicastro, Senior Communications Officer.
