‘We must keep optimistic’: A message from Tender CEO Susie McDonald MBE

‘We have a battle on our hands, but after witnessing so much joy at the Tender Awards, I couldn’t be more hopeful.’

On the 24^th June 2025, we came together at the Tender Awards to recognise and highlight some of the incredible work being done across the country by children, young people and teachers in partnership with Tender in schools, youth centres and universities, to create a future without abuse.

This year, more than ever, we felt the need to celebrate. The news cycle today relies on catastrophe and crisis, and it is rare to hear a happy, good news story. With over 3.9 million people victims of domestic abuse just last year, there is a lot to be very angry about. In times where there is an awful lot of negativity, the Tender Awards Event comes to restore our hope and celebrate the people who are leading change.

This year’s awards shine a light on projects we are extremely proud of. We have seen a brilliant collaboration between a primary and secondary school where older boys mentor younger boys. Primary school children have developed strategies for emotional regulation and created resources to use in spaces in their classroom. So many young people have become healthy relationship ambassadors, using creativity and the arts to spread messages and bring relationships education to their peers.

We must recognise that their achievements are no small thing. They are preventing violence from happening in their communities. We see children whose English is their second language learning new concepts around healthy relationships and then, being able to translate these and take messages home to talk to their families. I love to see how our work can surpass language barriers – we all want and deserve safe and healthy relationships, and this idea of the ripple effect that our programmes are creating has always been inherent in the work that we’re doing.

Encouraging and celebrating these initiatives from teachers and students, which go beyond our expectations, is key to change happening. At the Tender Awards, winners are matched with people who are successful in their field of work. We match extraordinary winners with extraordinary award presenters. That might be an Oscar winning actor in the form of Olivia Colman, our wonderful Patron, the first female Dr Who – Jodie Whittaker, or the former prosecutor of grooming gangs – Nazir Afzal. We want to show that what the children and teachers have achieved is so important, they have been noticed, and we don’t want to forget the change they make.

I’m constantly overwhelmed by how engaged teachers are. There’s so much pressure on them and so many conflicting priorities within any school day and yet they are able to find time – make time – to focus on relationships education and champion it in their school.

All the young people we work with aren’t just being equipped with the skills to avoid abusive relationships. They’re equipped with skills for life that are not present in the national curriculum. They’re invited to be creative and to collaborate with one another.;to be playful and to have fun. At the workshops, they are listening to a range of different ideas and opinions and learning how to have those discussions in a really safe way, without falling into the trap of polarisation. Young people develop that critical thinking to be able to challenge ideas, and confidently speak up about what they believe in.

I recently visited a workshop with secondary school students, and I could have cried listening to the girls. They were saying how unsafe they feel in public spaces. They’re conscious that, as young women, they’re much more likely to be victims of abuse in relationships. They are very nervous about embarking on romantic relationships. That’s really sad. That’s an absolute tragedy. And that’s why from the very beginning of starting school, they should be having conversations and an understanding that an intimate relationship should have the same values and basis as a friendship, that it’s about being kind, that all relationships must be based on equality and trust. There’s no argument with that. Domestic abuse can happen anywhere. It’s about people making choices about their behaviours.

The surge in focus by the media on misogyny and the manosphere, means that there has never been more interest in violence against women and girls. There is a lot of attention in the role that boys and men can play in ending it, which creates opportunities for us to reach more people with healthy relationships education. But there is a critical challenge around funding just to keep going, while the number of victims keeps on rising. Existing in the domestic abuse sector has, in many ways, never felt harder.

But we really need to hold our nerve. We have a battle on our hands, but after witnessing so much joy at the Tender Awards, I couldn’t be more hopeful. If you want to feel optimistic about the future, all you need to do is walk into a Tender workshop and listen to the children and young people talking about what matters to them. Our reason for optimism is in this generation.